[UNTITLED - 2023]

I’ve decided to sit on the floor of my bedroom and stare of the window. No distractions. The first minute is almost unbearable, I fight the urge to grab my phone, or to play some music I stay firm and all the discomfort fades leaving me feeling lighter. I feel connected to my body. Each action Each thought, Each feeling everything feels clearer,

The view outside my window is the grey clouds and just in the bottom right corner of my now TV screen I can see the top of an evergreen tree. As the gust of wind roars outside, I’m reminded of my appreciation of the sound of the wind. And then I witness its power when I see a golden brown leaf float across my view. A beautiful sight I would’ve missed if I wasn’t paying attention. A reminder that the world continues to spin, whether you’re paying attention or not. It’s now autumn, and closer to the end of another year.

Like the leaf flashed into view, memories and mainly regrets flash into my mind. All the opportunities I missed because I was too distracted to notice them. All the experiences, relationships ruined because I was in my own head, and not present, at the moment I was in.

My mind projects the image of someone into my mind, our chance encounter, I see their smile and remember our conversation. I think about the fact we may never have one again. I see more memories flashing one by one. They aren’t good or bad, but they’re just moments in time. Moments that I should not be disappointed they didn’t last but instead appreciate they happened

Like the wind carrying the leaf, it appeared and then disappeared.

Just a moment in time.