How to see the world the way you want to - importance of self-perception

Have you ever noticed that when you learn a new word it seemingly appears everywhere? Or if your friend mentions a car they’re considering, you seemingly encounter the car on every street corner in the exact model and colour. This is the Baader-Meinhof  phenomenon (also known as the frequency illusion). It occurs since these things are fresh in our mind, we are attuned to noticing them more.  

The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon is more than a fun mental trick; it reveals something profound about how we experience the world. Our focus shapes our perception. What we notice—or fail to notice—depends largely on what occupies our thoughts.

This realization is not just about cars or words. It’s about how we interpret the world around us, including our interactions, our opportunities, and even ourselves.

I remember when I first began learning graphic design I would find myself noticing posters and signs everywhere I went, finding myself subconsciously taking the ideas I appreciated in others and considering how I’d design things differently to others. Design principles like composition, type, color and form stood out like never before. The more I studied and practiced the more I began to notice. 

This shift doesn’t simply occur from outside influences. It can also come from within, from our own thoughts and self-image.

The importance of our self-perception

Our self-perception and the way we interpret our experiences, actions and interactions, whether it is positive or negative, is reflected in the way we see the world..

• If you are short on confidence, compliments begin to feel insincere or even patronizing

• If you believe others dislike you- their actions and comments begin to feel targeted, disrespectful and malicious

• If you’re overly critical of yourself, curiosity from others can feel like interrogation.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. When I first began sharing my writing, I struggled to accept praise. Even small pieces of constructive feedback felt like confirmation that my work wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t seeing reality; I was seeing my fears reflected back at me.

As Ichiro Kishimi writes in The Courage to Be Disliked:

“We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences...but instead, we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.”

In other words, the world isn’t as it is—it’s as we interpret it.

How to Change Your Lens: Practical Tips for a Positive Perspective

The good news is that we can control our perception. By intentionally shifting our focus, we can start to see the world—and ourselves—differently. Here are a few practices to help:

1. Reframe Negative Thoughts:Challenge automatic negative assumptions. For example:

   • Instead of thinking, “They didn’t reply because they don’t like me,” consider, “Maybe they’re busy or distracted.”

   • Reframing can help you see situations more objectively.

2. Practice Gratitude:Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. This trains your brain to notice the positives, even in difficult situations.

3. Seek External Perspectives:Share your thoughts with trusted friends or mentors. They can help you see situations from a fresh angle, free from your internal biases.

4. Celebrate Small Wins:Recognize even minor accomplishments to build confidence. Over time, these small moments add up to a more positive self-image.

5. Focus on Growth:Shift your attention to areas where you’re improving. Instead of fixating on imperfections, notice the progress you’re making, however small.

“People are controlled by their perceptions of themselves. If you’re taught you can’t do anything, you won’t do anything.”

Kanye West

Our thoughts should empower us, not hold us back. The more we focus on our strengths and potential, the more we notice opportunities instead of obstacles.

Conclusion: See the World You Want to See

So remember to choose what you focus on carefully, it will go on to shape how you experience life. The lens through which you view life is yours to adjust. So, what will you choose to focus on today?